Love is love is love. It doesn’t matter if your beloved is far from your sight. You will still think of them and miss them. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t live in the same city as you can be quite difficult to handle. But with a little mental and emotional prep you can pull off a great relationship. Who knows it might be your happily-ever-after?
If your boyfriend lives in a different city, here’s what you can do!
Bring Back Mail
Sure, texts and phone calls are nice, but a good, old-fashioned card or letter is a better way to demonstrate caring. It takes the time to send, and that time will not go unnoticed or unappreciated by your partner. Plus, it’s nice for your partner to be able to pick up and reread a physical card or letter when he or she is missing you.
Appreciate that your individual reactions differ
Any two people have different levels of comfort with emotional and geographical closeness—and distance. Observe what experiences amplify or dilute those feelings for each of you, and how you respond to varying thresholds and triggers. Even more useful, learn to appreciate the ways in which your respective coping styles are different.
Don’t Give In To Jealousy
It’s a reality of long distance that your partner will be spending more time with other people than he or she does with you. Don’t resent him or her for it. It’s important for both you and your partner to build strong, healthy relationships with friends and co-workers in your immediate vicinities. Long distance is difficult, and you will both benefit from having a strong support network to help you through it. Make an effort to get to know your partner’s friends as well.
Appreciate the benefits of different time zones
They can strengthen the positive aspects of anticipation and can bring reassurance that one can indeed delay gratification. Thus the difference in time zones can help you develop patience and perspective, limit impulsivity and an unnecessary sense of urgency, and thus fortify reflection and foster deliberate choices.
Staying busy is also important because it keeps your expectations for your partner reasonable. If you have commitments of your own, you will be less tempted to feel resentful when your partner needs to cut a phone call short to join friends for drinks.
Trusting each other during separations becomes critical
Agreements about what behaviours are and are not OK when personal contact is not possible for extended periods to need to be worked out. And those agreements need to be honoured, with concerns about them ironed out as each agreement becomes explicit. Each of you must be aware that violating an agreement has consequences for the integrity of the relationship, and that violations require repairs.
Don’t Feel Pressured to Talk on the Phone for Hours Every Day
Every day does not need to include an epic, heart-wrenching phone call in which you each feel a Nicholas Sparks-level connection to the other, and sometimes an excess of communication can be a bad thing. Feel confident if you only have a few minutes to chat on light topics, or if you don’t chat at all.
Video Call Whenever Possible
Seeing someone’s face, even on screen, has a power that I can’t explain but that was critical for Ben’s and my long distance relationship survival. At two points, we nearly called things off, first him, then me. Both times, we had the discussion over Skype. For me, seeing his face and looking into his eyes while we spoke reminded me of why we were doing this crazy thing in the first place, and we decided to stick with it.
Also Read: 5 Sexual Secrets Your Man Wants You To Know