Depression is more common than one can imagine, and Bollywood is unabashedly opening up about it. After Deepika Padukone, it is Ileana D’Cruz who shared her struggles with the condition. In a video for a brand, the Barfi! actor revealed that for 15 years she struggled with body dysmorphic disorder.
Struggle With Body Image
In fact, she said it was as recent as a few years ago that she was suffering from depression. Ileana has worked with A-listers in the fraternity and has been applauded for her acting in movies such as Barfi! and Rustom. However, she revealed that she didn’t always want to be an actor, “I was this very self-conscious, shy person once I hit my teens. So I was constantly picked on for my body type. The obsession started when I was about 15; my entire goal was to make sure I was accepted by everyone.”
Low Self-Esteem and Acceptance
It was her desire to be accepted that became the root of her dissatisfaction. Because no matter how good you are, you will never be perfect or accepted unanimously by each person. “I think that is what I wanted the most. I never got it. I was always like the wallflower. I didn’t even know I had a body disorder. So when I started off with acting, it made things a much worse,” added the Rustom actor.
Ileana revealed that things started getting worse when she began developing suicidal tendencies and wanted to end things. “There was a period; approximately 3 years ago, I had gone from happy to being completely depressed and not knowing what it was. The most comforting thought for me was what if I end things now! And I thankfully realised that this is not right. I never thought I’d be somebody dealing with anxiety or depression,” said Ileana.
Ileana’s Road To Recovery
They told me you know that you have depression; you have anxiety, you’re going through body dysmorphic disorder. There was an acceptance that almost came in immediately and I think that it is one of the biggest steps that you can take towards change or you can’t move forward otherwise. I don’t care if I’m gonna fail again! I just wanna keep pushing and you know you’re not meant to be perfect; you’re meant to be flawed,” said the actor.