If you feel suffocated in your partner’s company and don’t feel like opening up to them anymore, it’s time to call it quits. However, it can be a very stressful to go through a breakup and can leave both parties feeling very guilty and overwhelmed. But, if you don’t see a future with them anymore it is best to take a break and enjoy some independence for a while. If you’re the one who wants to break up and feel like your partner wouldn’t take it well, here are some things you should keep in mind before bringing up the talk with them.
Make it clear why you want the breakup
Clarity and transparency are key during communication and the more honest you are with them, the more they’ll understand. They may tell you that they’ll change and try to rekindle the relationship but if you have been facing this issue continuously in the past, you should move on and not make yourself constantly worried about something that won’t show signs of evolving.
Meet them in person
If you have decided to end it once and for all, never do it over the phone or text, it is not polite and blocking them on every app without an explanation won’t help either. Ask your partner to meet you in person in a safe location and bring along a friend if you can feel any violence coming towards you. Plan the conversation you will be having with them in your head, making sure it is more on the polite yet assertive side. Shouting expletives at them and demeaning them won’t help your situation, be as gentle with your words as you can.
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Do not blame yourself for the breakup just because you wanted it, it was their behaviour that incited you to do so. Explain to them what your ideal relationship is like and why it wouldn’t work out between you both in the future. You will have to be selfish and take some authority in your words because your happiness matters more.
Don’t create false hope
Refrain from being friends with them post the breakup so they are able to move on. Make it clear that it will be the last time you both will be contacting each other and them having outbursts is normal. If it’s crying or begging, be sympathetic but don’t change your decision because of that. Once you’ve made up your mind, you should truly stick to it.
Completely remove them from your life and avoid talking to them, you will have to block them if they are very persistent. If you bump into them outside by chance, don’t hesitate to say hello and move along instead of making conversation with them. Evading contact with them will help both of you heal faster from the breakup and you’ll be able to move onto your next relationship more easily.