Dressed in an overpriced Forever 21 crop top and high-waisted shorts, teamed with a glittering eyeshadow, 19-year-old Noella Rodrigues took a final look in front of the mirror. “Tonight’s going to be your night, honey,” she blew herself a kiss and stepped out of the house.
At some point in our lives, we all have been in Noella’s shoes. Heartbroken, dumped by our boyfriends, we’ve dressed up, hit the club, guzzled way too many cheap vodka shots and made out with a stranger on the dingy dance floor. But none of us want to be reminded about the miserable feeling the morning after.
Hookup is a reality attached to the dating landscape. In a world where more and more adolescents and adults are trading romantic dinners for Tinder dates, here’s highlighting the complications of a meaningless, no-strings-attached lifestyle.
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If you take the conventional route, one night stands are frowned upon by society. But more than the cultural or traditional aspect, what continues to intrigue many is, ‘what is one really getting out of it?’ “The common thread that binds compulsive shopping, pathological gambling, alcohol addiction, and a fling, in this case, is the lack of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that regulates the perception and experience of pleasure in the brain. A brain with low dopamine levels is more susceptible to risky behaviour in order to induce a sense of wellness. Eating (especially foods with high sugar levels) and having sexual intercourse stimulate the production of dopamine. This is the reason why these activities seem more enjoyable and addictive,” explains Dr Shefali Batra, psychiatrist and relationship consultant, founder, Mindframes and co-founder of InnerHour.
Majority of one night stands happen when one is looking for reassuring answers to questions like ‘Am I good enough?’, ‘Am I attractive enough’, ‘Will someone want to have sex with me?’ These are subconscious fulfilments of the desire for feeling wanted. It’s not really the sexual experience or the orgasm. It’s more to do with the heartening thought that someone wants to take you to bed.
- Wrap it up with rubber to avoid an STI or unplanned pregnancy
- Alert a trusted someone of your whereabouts
- Don’t bring in your fetishes with someone you just met
- If your date is too drunk, help them with a glass of fresh lime and comfort them
- Make sure your fling is a clear, rational decision instead of a hazy dream
- If you’re not looking for anything serious, be upfront about it
- Do it for the right reasons. For instance, to explore your sexuality
- Do not Facebook-stalk your date the very next date
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