Expert Neeta V Shetty, Psychotherapist and Life Coach, Founder Blissful Mind Therapy Centre, Mumbai solves all your queries:
How do I need to prepare so my sex life begins well?
In case a bride-to-be has questions, it’s best that she approaches a sex counsellor or goes in for a pre-marital counseling session to clear things out and be aware about what to be faced with. She should also try and read bestsellers on sex and relationship to know more about the dos and don’ts. See to it that the source of knowledge is always reliable and not based on word of mouth from your friends and well wishers. Where sex life is concerned, remember, one size does not fit well.
Can I ask my husband what he would like me to do?
Shetty: Communication is the key towards a healthy sex life. Hence, it is extremely important to know what your spouse likes and dislikes, wishes and fantasises about. It is always better to do what gives pleasure to the partner as well as understand his needs.
Can I ask him if we can experiment with new outfits, positions places and toys?
Yes, it is always great to be creative and experimental when it comes to sex; it adds zing to the relationship and does not allow monotony to set in. But while initiating things, always keep in mind your partner’s viewpoint and comfort level, because it’s too early to find out the perceptions of your partner when it comes to getting this bold.
Also Read: 5 Amazing Facts You Didn’t Know About Sex
Can I refuse certain things that I don’t like?
Do things within your comfort level so that it is pleasurable for both. Be open in your communication about your likes and dislikes, comfort and discomfort, or any activity that is either painful for either of the partner or unsafe to both of you. It is also important to sometimes go out of our comfort zones to please our partners. So take a call and decide. A key to a healthy sex life is education and communication.
Can I ask him to talk dirty to me since it turns me on, without being embarrassed?
You can always ask him to talk dirty without getting embarrassed but a good way to initiate this would be to start sexting each other to break the initial discomfort.